In Which Tonks Dances
by the.gold.in.the.shadow
Summary: Wait! There’s going to be dancing! Do I have to dance? I mean it’d probably be hazardous to other person’s health.


_**In Which Tonks Dances

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_This is a cute little story that I started a long time ago, and never have really gotten around to finishing. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it!_

P.S. I don't own Harry Potter, just so you know, and I don't get sued. : )

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It's a funny thing about being a Metamorphmagus, you begin to not care about how you look. I suppose in a way it's logical, I mean, I can look however I want, so it begins not to matter to me. I guess it's similar to spoiled rich kids; they have every thing and take it all for granted: I can look however I like and I choose to look like I just got out of bed (we keep strange hours here at the Order). Not the sexy just got out of bed look either, rather the kind where your hair looks like a porcupine and your face is all botchy from lying on your pillow.

Apparently, Dedalus Diggle didn't care either, as he was asking me out. I mean, hello?! I'm at least fifteen years younger than he is! He was kissing girls (or in his case, it was probably _trying _to kiss girls) when I was burping up all over my Auntie Patty's new ball gown (I don't remember it of course, I was less than a year old, but it's one of my mother's favorite stories). I wasn't quite sure whether I should be horrified or crack up laughing. The humorous side of this state of affairs seemed like the best bet.

"What do you say, Tonks?"

"What?" I managed to squeak out. I was having a very difficult time trying not to burst out laughing. I liked Dedalus very much. In fact, he reminded me a bit of my father, but that is not what I am looking for in a date. I couldn't look him in the eye, so I stared at a spot of mold on the wall behind him as I fought valiantly not to crack up.

Dedalus looked slightly hurt. He repeated himself, "What do you say to going out and getting a drink?"

"I heard that part, I'm just a bit confused. Are you asking me out?" Stall for time. What the hell was I going to say to him?

"Er, well, yes, I suppose I am," he said, a bit cautiously. I looked at him for a second, which was a mistake. He had this worried expression on his face, which made me hope that I never looked like that when I asked a guy out. Yes, I, a member of the female gender, have asked men out. Merlin people! It's the twenty-first century already! But anyway, back to the problem at hand. The current problem being that I couldn't think up an excuse not to go with him, other than he reminded me of my father, and somehow I don't think he would appreciate that. I fixed my gaze over his shoulder because I just knew I couldn't hold in my laughter otherwise, trying desperately to think of something to say and pulling furiously down on the corners of my mouth, when a voice came from behind me.

"I'm sorry, Dedalus, but unfortunately, Nymphadora and I have to discuss our mission tonight." It was Remus, and right now I felt like I could kiss him. That is, after I laughed my head off about this whole situation.

"Oh, right Remus! I totally forgot. I'm so glad you reminded me." Remus smiled at me. Oh no, not good. If I smiled back then I knew I would crack up right then and there, and probably convince both of then that I was insane and should be shipped of to St. Mungo's at once. Though actually, Remus' smile just grew wider as I struggled to control my grin, so perhaps he had some idea of what was going through my head.

"What mission?" said Dedalus, "I didn't hear anything about you two going on a mission together."

"I think at the point of the meeting, you were attempting to scrape a piece of Drooble's off your shoe."

Dedalus blushed and I had to turn my snort into a coughing fit. Remus just smiled blandly and patted me on the back. I hadn't caught that amusing scene unfortunately, I had been too busy staring at Bill. No, I wasn't getting instructions from Dumbledore about my mission with Remus, because there was no mission. Are you people dense? Of course it was just a story that Remus made up. Remus just happened to be a very good and convincing liar. I wonder if it's an innate talent or did he have to practice? I'm not considered a bad liar, in fact I think I'm rather good as it's part of my job, I just was a little distracted what with battling the urge to laugh uproariously in poor Dedalus' face. I started to snort again as I remembered his expression, but luckily, Remus saved me yet again.

"Come on Nymphadora, I think we have some time before Molly has dinner ready. Let's get started." And he gently took my elbow and steered me down the hall and into the library. The second the door closed behind us, I burst into loud laughter that no doubt sounded more than a bit insane. When I had regained enough sanity to bring my guffaws down to giggles, I saw Remus sitting quietly on the couch watching me laugh with one eyebrow quirked. I have in the past found that eyebrow exceedingly annoying, but right now I was willing to be lenient, as the owner of said eyebrow had just saved me from a rather awkward situation.

"Would you care to tell me what's so funny?" asked Remus as I plopped myself down on the couch next to him after bumping both my toe and my shin painfully against the coffee table, and then practically sprawling into Remus' lap. All in a days work for me.

"You know perfectly well what's funny. Did you catch a glimpse of his face?" I snickered.

"Yes, actually I did and I think you should be a little more kind to him. It's very nerve wracking asking some one out." I stopped giggling and gave him a look.

"I know it is, I've done it before." There went that eyebrow again.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. And don't look at me like you don't believe me. I have."

"Who then?"

"The most recent was Bill Weasley."

"Really?"

"Yup. I was nervous, but I don't think I made quite as much an ass out of myself as Dedalus did."

"Really?"

"Yes. Do have anything else to say besides really? And if you don't believe me, go ask Bill."

"No, no, no. I believe you, I'm just surprised. Not many women I know would ask a man out. I should have guessed you would have the balls to be the exception. Just out of curiosity, what did Bill say?"

Damn straight I have balls, so don't mess with me. Merlin, I'm such a tomboy sometimes. Ok, well, most of the time. I took out my wand, magicked my regulation Auror boots off, and started to trim my toes. "He said no."

"Really? Why?"

"You said really again, and not that it's any of your business, but he said he was seeing someone else." I finished one foot and started on the other.

"You seem remarkably nonchalant about it." He was looking at me piercingly.

"I'm not, I'm actually trying to get over it. If it makes you feel better, I spent most of the meeting staring at him." I stretched my legs out and admired my handiwork.

"I noticed. But that reminds me. What are you going to do about that mission of yours?"

"Which one?" I sat up and looked at him. Talking about the Order was much more interesting than my current lack of a love life.

"The Ministry Gala."

"Oh shit. That one. Yeah, well, I have no idea." And I was seriously freaking out about my unpreparedness (is that actually a word? Oh well, it is now). Missions usually weren't this nerve-wracking. Well, I suppose I fought Death-Eaters all the time, but never went to Ministry Galas. In short, I was abjectly terrified.

"Well, before it became common knowledge that I was a werewolf, my mother used to drag me to all sorts of things similar to this, so just ask me if you need any help."

"Since I don't even have an idea of where to start, could you just tell what sort of horrible tortures I will have to endure?"

"They're really not that bad."

I rolled my eyes and he smiled, "I highly doubt that."

"Really, I'm telling the truth."

I rolled my eyes again, "You said 'really' again. And are you going to tell me about the blasted things or should I go take a shower?" I certainly needed one.

He laughed, "Well, there will be a lot of people there."

"No shit, Sherlock," I muttered under my breath. He gave me a look and continued.

"And they will all be trying to seem better and more important than their companions. The culture around these things is very old fashioned, so you may have to consider getting a date."

"What? I though this was a solo mission!"

"Well, that might have to change, because no one will take you seriously unless you play their game. The food is always superb, as well as the music."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"They're really kinda fun. It's kind of like being in a play; everyone's acting."

"Well, that won't be so hard. Acting's a part of my job." It was still a worrying thought, having to associate with all sorts of high class people. Whenever I usually had to go undercover it was among the trash of England. I felt much more comfortable with them. I looked at the wall across from the couch; Grimmauld Place was sure to fall apart soon what with all the mold inhabiting its walls.

"Nymphadora! Pay attention! You're going to have to concentrate!" Remus was looking at me half amused and half annoyed. It appeared that he had continued talking while I was contemplating the disintegration of Sirius's house.

"Remus, don't call me Nymphadora, or I will have to retaliate by calling you Fifi."

He shuddered.

"You wouldn't dare," he said with an astonished look on his face, "I am proud to say that I look nothing like that thing when I transform!"

I giggled at his outrage. "I know, I know. I couldn't resist though."

A few weeks ago, my parents went on vacation and left their toy poodle, Fifi, at my house. The tiny thing couldn't even be properly called a canine, it reminded me more of a rat. (Not that I would ever tell my mother that; she adores the poor unfortunate thing.) But, Remus had come over to give me some paperwork he had done for me, and as a thanks for this favor, Fifi peed on his new boots. Remus can't often buy new shoes and as such, the two didn't have the best of relationships.

"Hmph. It wasn't funny." But I could see a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. I was just thinking how utterly cute he looked trying to repress a smile, when his expression changed. He sobered and looked me straight in the eye.

"Tonks, I don't think I've ever thanked you for how accepting you are of my condition," I opened my mouth to say something angry, but he held up his hand to stop me, "No, it's ok. I know how you feel about the other members of the Order, but it's not their fault."

I snorted. "Ok, it's not completely their fault," he conceded, "But I wanted to thank you for being able to joke with me about it. The only other people with whom I could joke about me being lycanthropic were James and Sirius. Even Peter got nervous when it was brought up."

I had a question I had been wondering about for a while, well, ever since I had joined the Order, but I wasn't sure how to ask it. Figuring that he had brought up an awkward subject, so he probably wouldn't mind too much if I brought up another one, I decided on the straightforward approach.

"Remus? Are you and Sirius a couple?" Ok, so maybe didn't exactly follow the conversation and was rather out of the blue, but I was curious damn it!

"What?" He pulled away from me and looked at me, astonished. I couldn't tell if it was astonished that I thought that or astonished that I had guessed.

"You heard me." I was _really _curious.

"I know I did. I just can't believe you asked me that. Of course we aren't! I'll have you know that I like women very much!" I giggled at his expression, "And stop laughing. It's not funny."

"Oh, yes it is! You don't have to be too vehement, or I might think you were hiding something." He sputtered a bit, but I just talked over him, "I know you're not homophobic, you said yourself that you don't discriminate against people who have no choice in their situation."

"I'm not homophobic, and neither am I protesting too much! I'm just surprised that you would think that about Sirius and me. Well, I can see why you would say that about Sirius, but I never gave the impression that I was gay. Did I?" He looked at me questioningly.

"Not really. It was just that you and Sirius seemed so comfortable with each other. I've never seen guys that were that comfortable with each other unless they were gay. I mean, most straight men are so bloody self-conscious if there seems to be any sexual connotation when they are messing around with other guys." It was true. Sirius and Remus could crack me up with their horsing around. I swear, they don't act more than 17. It's very amusing to see two fully grown men, one with prematurely gray hair, rolling around on the ground, fighting over who got the TV remote. (This was at my house, before Dumbledore got really strict about Sirius not leaving the house. No one else in the Order had a TV; something I was severely bummed about, considering how much time I spend at Headquarters.)

Remus gave me a scathing look, as if he couldn't believe I was stupid enough to assume such a thing. I smiled innocently.

"Oh come on! It's a reasonable assumption! I mean, Sirius is in here alone all the time and you don't get as many missions because you're a werewolf and therefore spend a lot of your time here. I'm sure other people have thought of it."

Remus looked sulkily at the fireplace and didn't say anything.

"Oh, really, Remus. I'm sorry I insulted your manhood, or some such thing, but I think you should get over it now." I scooted closer to him and squeezed his knee, at which he jumped. His knees were very ticklish, something Sirius and I took great advantage of.

He still looked grumpy, so I reached over a wrapped my arms around him.

Besides the fact that he was bitingly intelligent and had the most understated sense of humor I had ever come across, this was what I loved the most about Remus' and my friendship: the physical comfort. He never gave wimpy hugs, there was always full body contact.

He pulled away from me slightly and shifted so we could hug more comfortably. In the process, his arm went over my shoulders and suddenly it was as if I was being protected.

It felt wonderful not to be the one protecting, not to be the tomboy who was only one of the guys. There was something very feminine about being protected, something that I generally didn't appreciate. But it was different with Remus, he didn't make me feel unequal, that not being the one in charge was ok sometimes. What he was protecting me from I had no idea, but still it was a nice feeling.

"Sorry to ruin the moment, but I am still freaking out about the Ministry Gala." I looked up at him from where my head was resting on his shoulder.

He smiled, "Ok, well, what haven't I talked about. Hmm…what I remember the most about them was watching all of the ladies' dresses swirling around as they danced."

"Wait! There's going to be dancing! Do I have to dance? I mean it'd probably be hazardous to other person's health." I pulled my head up off his shoulder at this new frightening piece of information. Though I suppose I should've expected it.

"You don't even know how to dance?"

"Not ballroom. I can always do my kind of dancing, but I have a suspicion that it would be frowned upon." That's an amusing picture, me club dancing to a waltz.

"Hmm, yes, I suppose it would, though it would certainly spice the party up a bit." I snickered and he smiled again. "You are certain to be asked to dance at least once, so I would advise you to invest in some dance lessons."

I ignored the 'at least once' comment and said, "But I don't have the money! Couldn't you just teach me? I mean, you used to go to these things all of the time right? You must know how to dance."

"I do, but I haven't in a long time. I don't think it would be the best idea for me to teach you."

"You're just saying that because you don't want your toes to be stepped on, and I'm telling you now Remus John Lupin, I think that is very selfish of you," I mock frowned.

He said laughingly, "You're entirely correct, I am only concerned for the well being of my toes. They are my primary concern in my life."

I laughed, "Of course, and it shouldn't be any other way."

He grinned as well, and to my delight said, "Well, I suppose I could teach you, I'm just afraid I wouldn't do a very good job. It's been a very long time you see."

"It can't have been that long."

"Yes, well, it has been."

"Oh, come off it! You're not _that _old!"

He rolled his eyes, "Thanks for that vote of confidence. I'm glad you think of me as only slightly old, not a complete geezer."

"Oh hush. So you have a few gray hairs, the rest of you is in good shape." I ran my eyes down his body and had to agree with my statement; he was very fit.

Smirking, he said, "Why, Nymphadora! I do believe you were just checking me out!"

"So what if I was, Fifi?" I grinned and he groaned.

"Alright, alright, it just slipped! I swear I won't do it again!"

"You better not," I growled menacingly through my smile, "Or I'll have to find a worse punishment for you."

Remus put up his hands, signaling defeat, and I suddenly realized that I was sitting practically on top of my suddenly not gay friend. Hmm…well, this is a bit different.

Just then, Sirius burst into the room. Perfect timing as always. "Well, well, well, Remus! Finally found a pretty witch to sit on your lap! And an available one too!" Before, Sirius' comments hadn't been a cause for embarrassment, but unfortunately, at the new information I had gotten about the man who's lap I was sitting very close to, I found myself blushing.

"Help me, Sirius! She's molesting me!" Remus began to flail dramatically next to me.

"Oh shut up, you two." I reached around and slapped Remus' arm sharply. My embarrassment had gone away as soon as I realized that nothing was going to be different between us. Still the same horsing around. I swear, you'd never know the three of us had graduated from Hogwarts top of our respective classes. Of course, I graduated quite a bit later than the two of them, but hey, the curriculum couldn't have changed that much in the intervening time. In fact, I bet it was even harder. So there, stupid, superior Lupin.

Ignoring me, Remus continued, "And can you believe it? Before she starts to molest me, she claims that I'm gay! Can you say bipolar?"

"Gay? Our sweet Remus? I guess I can see how you would think that, my dear Tonks." Sirius was now speaking to me and looking at Remus speculatively. "Though, I don't suppose you've heard all the noises that come out of his room at night, have you?"

"Sirius…" said Remus, warningly.

But Sirius either didn't notice Remus' warning tone or ignored it (I'd bet on the 'ignoring it' option, because Sirius was a observant little bugger, even though he pretended he didn't have a care in the world) and continued blithely on, "Yes, there seems to be a name that comes up quite often in these nightly…" But I never got hear what the end of that sentence was going to be as Remus cast a hasty silencing charm on Sirius. I was disappointed, because I had absolutely no bloody idea what the two of them were talking about and was counting on Sirius to enlighten me. Oh, well.

"Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about." He hastily slid off the couch and tried to avoid Sirius' hands which were now flailing around trying to catch hold of some piece of him. I could see Sirius mouthing every foul word in the book, some of them even I didn't recognize, though that may because I wasn't as adept at reading lips as I could be. I was proficient, but they really don't teach you how to lipread swear words in Surveillance (a.k.a. Spying). Sirius finally grabbed a tuft of Remus' hair and started to yank. They really could be quite cruel to each other at times, but I decided not to intervene unless there was actual bloodletting. Sometimes it's better to leave some things alone.

Though, oh, ouch, that looked like it hurt. Not that I would know from personal experience, not having those particular bits on my anatomy.

It's rather peculiar to watch a wrestling match in which only one of the participants could make any noise at all. The particular silencing spell Remus had used completely erased the recipient's aural imprint on the world. Not even Sirius' body being thrown over Remus' shoulder and onto the ground made any noise, though I could feel the reverberation through the floor. The silence spell had been invented to help in Stealth maneuvers specifically for Aurors, but once the committee had decided that not being able to communicate with one's partner overruled the ability to be completely silent, they had released the spell to the public. It'd figure that the Marauders would use such a drastic form of silencing someone. I sure do know a lot about the history of spells. Oh God, I need to get a life. And no, hanging out with two overgrown teenagers does not count as a life.

It seemed that Remus' impressive flip had ended the fight as neither of them were moving. But still, better to be cautious than bruised. Believe me, it's happened before. So I said from my position on the couch, "Are you going to take the silencing spell off him, Remus? It's bloody creepy having someone in the room who I can't hear at all."

"Oh, I dunno Tonks. What do you think? Think he's been punished enough?"

I laughed, "What exactly were you punishing him for?"

Remus looked thoughtfully at Sirius as he waved his wand and lifted the spell. "You know, I can't remember."

"He was just jealous that no one's ever thought I was gay," Sirius huffed as he brushed off his clothes and stood up.

I burst out laughing and Remus said, "See! I should have just left him silenced! It was a definite improvement."

I still couldn't believe that no one had ever asked Sirius if he was gay what with his unhealthy obsession with clothes and his affected way of talking. I suppose people don't ask you many questions in Azkaban. Correction, they don't ask questions relating to your sexual orientation.

But the two of them were too out of breath to go at it again, so they both flopped down on the couch next to me.

"What were you guys talking about before I interrupted?" asked Sirius.

"I was freaking out about the Ministry Gala and Remus was trying to reassure me. It didn't work very well." I aimed a playful glare at Remus.

"Wait, you were talking about a ball, so when did Remus being gay come up?"

"Do we have to keep coming back to this?! I really think it is unnecessary. We have established that I am, in fact, not homosexual, so now can we please drop it?"

"Oh dear, I think Remus is uncomfortable with his sexuality!" said Sirius with unrestrained glee. I'm glad that they tease each other worse than they tease me. Remus is too much of a gentleman to tease me too horribly and Sirius has this weird over-protective thing going on with me.

"I am not! I simply don't feel comfortable talking about this subject." Remus was smiling slightly, but shifting a bit uncomfortably.

"But you are comfortable jumping on Sirius when he has the Firewhiskey," I said laughingly.

Remus sputtered a bit, "Yes, well, I was already a bit drunk at that point, so I think my actions were excused."

"Ha! You just want my body!" yelled Sirius gleefully.

"Shut up, Padfoot."

By this point of the conversation, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Remus looked over at me and quirked his eyebrow again. "Look what you've done to Tonks, she's having a seizure."

"Hmm…most interesting. Haven't you heard that seizures are only cured by tickling, Moony?" I was so far into hysterics that I couldn't even run away at these words.

"Yes, I do believe that's how MediWizards deal with them." Remus was looking positively evil and that scared me a bit. When he gets that face, truly horrible things happen. With Sirius that particular face was less worrying because he wore it all the time.

"In that case…" And they both tackled me and began tickling me mercilessly. I was insanely ticklish around my stomach and they took full advantage of that fact. You'd think with how much I work out and what with all the sit-ups I do, my abs would be immune to tickling, but no. In fact, they must've gotten more ticklish, because I don't remember ever practically dying from laughing when I was at Hogwarts.

Being tickled when you already can't breathe from laughing is not a pleasant experience. The whole bit about being under two rather attractive men wasn't so bad, but not having enough oxygen can be quite painful. When I felt like I was going to pass out from laughing too hard, I managed to gasp out, "Cured! I'm cured!"

"What was that?" said Remus, pulling away slightly and still grinning wickedly. If I could move, I'd have knocked that annoying smirk off his face. Sirius was still running his hands softly up and down my sides so I wasn't able to respond to Remus' question with anything other than more laughter. "Padfoot, I do believe, she was trying to communicate something to us."

"Yes, I think she needs to be tickled some more, to really get that seizure out of her system."

At that disturbing declaration, I was able to gasp out, "No! No! I'm fine!"

"Hear that? She says she's fine. Do we believe her?"

"I suppose we have to as we don't have any of those special instruments MediWizards use to see if a seizures over. I'll just make a quick check." Sirius managed to grab one of my flailing legs and hold my foot still. I was now regretting having taken off my shoes to trim my toenails.

"No, no, no! Sirius please! What did I ever do to you?"

"Hmm, Padfoot, you know, that question does bear some weight. It wasn't your manly pride she injured."

"True, true. Well then, Moony, I give you the honors of checking to see if her seizure really is over." And holding my leg tightly for it was still trying desperately to get away, he handed it over to Remus who took it and ran a careful finger up my bare sole.

I shrieked.

And the door to the living room slammed open. "What was that?"

It was, fortunately, Molly Weasley, who had obviously heard my yell and come running. "Oh dear heavens, I thought someone was being tortured."

"I _was _being tortured," I wheezed. "These two should be locked up for the things they did to me!"

Sirius whispered to Remus, so Molly wouldn't hear, "The things we did to her. She makes it sound positively erotic."

I surreptitiously kicked him in the shin. Or maybe not so surreptitiously. Oh well, he'll get over it in a bit, the big baby.

Molly seemed to be a bit discombobulated by our current state (we were still sprawled on the floor, though Sirius was now nursing his shin) and said, "Yes, well, dinner's ready and I need someone to set the table."

Remus and I said in unison, "He will," and pointed at Sirius.

"Hey! I'm the injured party here! You guys should do all the work!" said Sirius, but Molly simply talked over him.

"Thank you for volunteering, Sirius. Why don't you go wash up first."

And just like that, Sirius was bundled up and made to go wash his hands. I wish we could bottle whatever kind of authority Molly has; we'd have the Death Eaters knocked into shape in no time and washing their hands before every meal.

"Well, Tonks, shall we go eat whatever scrumptious thing Molly's cooked up this time?" Remus looked positively adorable with his hair all over the place and red cheeks from laughing. I absentmindedly reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, enjoying the soft texture of it. He stilled slightly, but I, sensing an impending awkward moment (considering that I had had quite a few of those in my life, I was quite good at avoiding them), quickly withdrew my hand. I probably should start thinking about doing things like that more now that I know he's not gay. It does funny things to my stomach.

"Yes, I suppose we should, though I'm not sure if I can move yet," I flopped still more on the floor and smiled up at Remus.

He smiled back at me, only a touch wickedly, so I wasn't too worried, "I suppose I'll just have to carry you then won't I?"

"Wha…?" I was cut off by my shriek as Remus put his arms behind my shoulders and at the back of my knees and lifted me up. (Can you be cut off by yourself? I think you can, especially if you're schizophrenic. Which I'm not, I swear. But then, that would mean I can't cut myself off. Damn, maybe it'd be funner to be schizophrenic. Anyway, I digress.)

"Put me down right now, Remus John Lupin!"

"Nope. You said you couldn't walk, so I'll carry you." I could tell Remus was enjoying himself immensely and I couldn't help notice that he had almost no trouble carrying me. Well, at one point, he almost dropped me, but that was because he tripped over the rug. I think my clumsiness is rubbing off. Oh, that's a scary thought.

"What do you do? Work out the whole time I'm gone?" I swear it only slipped out! It wasn't supposed to sound like a come on at all!

When he laughed, I could feel the reverberation in his chest. Mmm, that was a nice feeling. Whoops, not going there.

"No, I think it's from all the running I do when I'm in wolf form. The muscle I get in my front legs must transfer to my arms when I change back."

"Well, I still think you should let me down." I started to wriggle a bit. I was an Auror after all, I could get out of a guy's arms if I wanted to. I could feel Remus tense behind me and assumed that he was having more trouble holding onto me. My suspicion was confirmed when he let me drop quickly. Wait…why was he shifting so uncomfortably still?

An evil thought crossed my mind and I looked down. Yep! I had given prim and proper Remus Lupin a hard-on! Well, he wasn't really prim and proper, just compared to Sirius, I suppose.

I furiously clamped my lips together on all the uncharitable and slightly cruel comments that immediately lined up to get out of my mouth. How come my first reaction to an awkward moment was to say something witty and generally not nice? I probably should work on that. Maybe it'll be my New Years resolution, right after getting through the Ministry Gala alive. Or at least with all my body parts.

I, however, couldn't suppress the small snort that managed to force its way between my tight lips.

This may be the first time I've ever seen Remus blush quite like that.

I finally decided to break the growing silence, and completely ignore what had just happened. It would go down as just another awkward moment between friends. "So, now that I am free to walk by myself, shall we go eat?"

He looked like he could kiss me for not mentioning his…erm, 'state.' Though that might not have been the best idea because of the aforementioned state.

"Yes, please. I'm starving." He carefully walked in behind me and sat down quickly once we got inside the kitchen. Oh yum! Its smells like Molly made spaghetti again! And!…oh no, Bill was here. Look, I know I don't seem too upset about Bill saying no to me, but I really am. I just hide it really well.

I carefully took a seat next to Remus, hoping that the open seat next to me would fill quickly. To my relief Sirius plopped down there after he put the last of the silverware out.

"So, Tonks, what did you do to make Remus blush so much?" he asked.

I smiled at him, "Nothing."

"Nothing, my ass. I haven't seen old Moony blush like that since we dared him to give a strip tease to Sara Tage in 7th year! Really, what did you do to him?"

"You made him do a strip tease?" I really wasn't very interested in answering Sirius' question, plus this was an interesting topic.

"Well, no, he backed out at the last moment. But then we got to hang his boxers in the Great Hall, so it was ok."

"How can you guys stand being so cruel to each other?" I laughed.

"What can I say? It's because we love each other so much. Isn't that right, Moony?"

"Hmm, what? No, to whatever you just said." You can tell when people have known each other too long when they know the gist of what the other person said without even hearing them say it.

Sirius' reply was halted by the sudden emergence of Molly with the food, an interruption for which I was glad.

It seemed that Sirius had forgotten about our previous topic, though the next topic he brought up was worse. "Tonks, you need a boyfriend!" he announced to the room at large. Everybody stopped and looked at him, then at me. God, Sirius, can you ever keep your goddamn mouth shut?

"Erm, I think I'm alright for now, thanks Sirius."

"Nonsense, you need to get laid."

Both Bill and Remus choked. I wanted to strangle Sirius.

"Really, Sirius, my sex life is just fine." Well, if I had one, it'd be fine. Bah.

"Is that so? Who've you been shagging then?"

To my immense relief, Remus cut in just then, "Sirius, I think you've tortured Tonks enough. She's practically radiating heat from her face. I can feel it over here."

"What an interesting phenomenon!" Sirius said, leaning over and twisting his head to peer at me. If I didn't know that I'd never be invited back for dinner if I used the hexes that were on the tip of my tongue, you wouldn't be able to recognize Sirius at this point.

And Sirius the Oblivious just kept on talking, "I wonder if we could harness this energy to heat the house. It'd be very useful, we'd just have to keep her that way. It'd be fun!"

Despite the merciless teasing I was getting from my cousin, dinner was over way too quickly for me, because it meant that almost everyone would be leaving, including me. Only Remus and Sirius stayed here most of the time, though there were sometimes Order members who had trouble at home. But I knew I had to keep to my regular routine so as to not make to Ministry suspicious. Stupid Ministry with their heads stuck up their asses. Oh, wait that would include me.

I waited carefully for Bill to leave in the room across the hall from the kitchen, which just happened to be sitting room Remus and I had talked in. Which reminded me…

"Remus!" I shouted, sticking my head out the door. Oh shit. Forgot I wasn't supposed to do that. Please, please, please don't wake up. I scrunched my eyes closed, waiting for Mrs. Black to start shrieking.

"What _are _you doing, Tonks?" Ah, right. _That _was the reason I was hiding in here in the first place.

"Uh, hi Bill. I was just praying that I hadn't woken up Mrs. Black," I said, sheepishly.

"It looked like some pretty painful praying," he laughed.

"Yeah, well…" How come I got so self-conscious around Bill, but could wrestle with Remus and Sirius?

"Hey, I just wanted to ask you if we could possibly switch guard nights, there's something I need to do that particular night." No, I will not be jealous of the girl I know he'll be taking out. Oh, bugger that. I'll be jealous if I want to. But might as well switch with him, it doesn't matter to me.

"Sure, why not?"

He smiled with relief. "Thanks, Tonks. And about the other day, if I wasn't already going with someone, I'd take you up in a heartbeat." He grinned and I smiled back. He really was a sweet guy, "I don't want us to feel uncomfortable around each other. So, friends alright?

"Of course." And because I was feeling adventurous tonight I stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. It was nice, but no sparks. Maybe it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

"Ok, so I guess I'll see you at the next meeting, right?"

"Yup. As always."

We both smiled, and he left to Disapparate on the front porch. I turned back to the room I was standing in and looked at the fireplace, thinking. Suddenly, I remembered why I had been calling Remus in the first place.

I walked out of the room and started looking for the blasted werewolf. "Remus! Remus! REMUS! Where the bloody hell are…oh, hi."

"Were you by any chance looking for me, Nymphadora?"

"Yes, I bloody well was, Fifi." He winced, but didn't comment. I think this method was finally going to wean him from calling me Nymphadora. "I wanted to remind you that you promised to give me dance lessons, so I'll be here promptly at seven tomorrow morning."

"Seven…?" he groaned.

"Why yes, Mr. Lupin, I do have to go to work at some point," I said, sweetly.

"But, really, why seven? Can't it be at some other less ungodly time of the day?"

I was surprised; I'd always thought of Remus as an early morning sort of person. Guess not. "Sorry, but I can't do it any other time. I'll bring coffee to bribe you."

He perked up at that, but still didn't look too happy. "Thanks, Remus. For doing this. It's making me feel a lot less nervous." I reached out and hugged him.

It was one of those great Remus hugs, and I was glad the whole incident with him carrying me didn't get in the way. We both stood there, forgetting that we were supposed to go places. It wasn't until Sirius popped his head out of the kitchen that we broke apart.

"Oh, got her hugging you now? Moony, you wolf." Sirius' teasing wasn't nearly as caustic now_---_he wasn't happy that everybody was leaving either.

"What can I say? I'm irresistible." Both Sirius and I coughed dramatically into our hands. Remus just grinned widely.

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